Free Novel Read

Lincoln in the Bardo Page 6


  the reverend everly thomas

  On other days, everyone she met manifested as a giant mustache with legs.

  hans vollman

  Yes, her way is hard.

  roger bevins iii

  Not so hard. She’s a rich one.

  You can tell by her voice.

  mrs. abigail blass

  Young sir, may I ask—a kindness?

  jane ellis

  Snooty.

  mrs. abigail blass

  If you are allowed back to that previous place, will you check Cathryn’s clothing and console Maribeth and tell Alice it is not a sin to fail in one’s first attempt? Assure them I have been thinking of them since I arrived here and am trying to make my way home, and that even as the ether was administered, I was thinking of them, of them and only—

  jane ellis

  Take the money, I said. I am calm.

  mr. maxwell boise

  Again pushed aside?

  Because I am small?

  mrs. abigail blass

  Perhaps it is because you are so dirty.

  roger bevins iii

  I live close to the ground, sir. As I believe you—

  mrs. abigail blass

  Your slippers are absolutely black with filth.

  roger bevins iii

  Take the money, I said. I am calm.

  You will also, sir, please, remain calm, I said. We have no enmity between us of which I am aware. Let us regard this as a simple business transaction. I will hand you my wallet, just so, and then, with your permission, be on my—

  No, no, no.

  No no no.

  Entirely the wrong & illogical thing for you to—

  Low stars, blurred rooftops.

  & I am punc tured.

  mr. maxwell boise

  Try now, Mrs. Blass.

  roger bevins iii

  Mrs. Blass, notoriously frugal, filthy, gray-haired, and tiny (smaller than a baby), spent her nights racing about, gnawing at rocks and twigs, gathering these things to her, defending them zealously, passing the long hours counting and recounting these meager possessions.

  the reverend everly thomas

  The opportunity to finally address the lad, there in front of that festive crowd, struck that diminutive lady with a sudden case of stage-fright.

  hans vollman

  You have one thousand three hundred dollars in the First Bank, I believe?

  the reverend everly thomas

  Yes.

  Thank you, Reverend.

  I have one thousand three hundred dollars in the First Bank. In an upstairs room I will not specify I have four thousand in gold coin. I have two horses and fifteen goats and thirty-one chickens and seventeen dresses, worth, in total, some three thousand, eight hundred dollars. But am a widow. What seems like abundance is in fact scarcity. The tide runs out but never runs in. The stones roll downhill but do not roll back up. Therefore you will understand my reluctance to indulge in wastefulness. I have over four hundred twigs and nearly sixty pebbles of various sizes. I have two dead-bird parts, dirt motes too numerous to count. Before retiring I count my dead-bird parts, twigs, pebbles, and motes, rending each with my teeth to ensure all are still real. Upon waking I often find myself short several items. Proving the presence of thieves and justifying those tendencies for which many here (I know they do) judge me harshly. But they are not old women, menaced by frailty, surrounded by enemies, the tide going only out, out, out…

  mrs. abigail blass

  So many were still waiting A shifting mass of gray and black As far as the eye could People in the moonlight outside pushing and shoving, standing on tip-toe to see

  Me

  Faces thrusting into the doorway to blurt their sad This or that None were content All had been wronged Neglected Overlooked Misunderstood Many wore the old-time leggings and wigs and

  willie lincoln

  When in my merry red Jacket of Velvet I moved past Flower-bright Hedges in the full Flush of my Youth, I cut a fine Figure indeed. All who saw, thought well of Me. Men of the Town would Stutter upon my Approach, my SHARDS would step aside, awed, as I Passed.

  This is what I should like the young Swain to know.

  And many was the time I pounded my Lust out in the Night to good Result; pounding my good Wife or, if she was indisposed, pounding my SHARDS, whom I called SHARDS, for they were, indeed, dark as Night, like unto so many SHARDS of COAL, which did give me abundant Heat. I need only Seize a SHARD-LASS up, & Ignoring the Cries of her SHARD-MAN, would—

  lieutenant cecil stone

  Good Lord.

  hans vollman

  He is in fine form tonight.

  roger bevins iii

  Bear in mind, Lieutenant: he is but a child.

  hans vollman

  And ’twas a Goodly thing, to so Diminish that SHARD-MAN in the Eyes of the Others, and this Message going ’round, their Behavior was Improv’d, and the next working Day even the most Behemoth of those SHARDS would lower his Eyes, for it was I who held the WHIP & the PISTOL and each SHARD knew that, were he to Offend me, that Night would be Costly to Him, & my FEE for his Offense would be that one most Dear to him, and I would kick open his Door and drag his LASS out & remove her to my Quarters, and the evening’s Entertainment would Commence, and that SHARD would be made to give off SPARKS. Consequently, my Fields were Quiet, and when any Order was given, a Dozen pair of Hands rushed to Fulfill it, even as those yellow Weary eyes glanced up, to see, did I Note it, and would I Excuse them & theirs from my Pleasure.

  In this way I converted SHARD to Ally, & made them Foes to one another.

  lieutenant cecil stone

  During these confident-aggressive episodes, fueled by these boastful assertions, Lieutenant Stone’s bodily mass would be swept upward into an elongate, vertical body-coiffe. His body-volume remaining constant, this increase in height would render him quite thin, literally pencil-thin in places, tall as the tallest of our pines.

  When finished speaking, he would resume his former proportions, becoming again a man of average size, beautifully dressed, but with terrible teeth.

  the reverend everly thomas

  Young sir, if we may approach? The little lady and me?

  eddie baron

  Ah, no. No, no. I’m afraid that will not be possible at this—

  the reverend everly thomas

  F—– that!

  betsy baron

  Everyone gets a turn! You said!

  eddie baron

  We was low and fell lower. That’s the main thing we want to—

  betsy baron

  We didn’t even bother bringing our nice s—– into that s—–hole by the river. After the Swede kicked us out of the place on G.

  eddie baron

  We couldn’t even fit that f—–er, that beautiful couch, through the s—–y little door of that s—–hole by the river.

  betsy baron

  I do not even consider that s—–y little door of that s—–hole by the river a door, when I think of that f—–ing door we had on G. What a door! The door on that s—–hole by the river would have been ashamed to call itself a door if it ever saw that f—–ing magnificent door on G.

  Still, we had our fun.

  eddie baron

  By the river.

  betsy baron

  Everybody soused and throwing each other into the f—–ing drink? With lit stogies and all? And Cziesniewski kept trying to pronounce “Potomac”?

  eddie baron

  Everybody heaving stones at them washerladies?

  betsy baron

  Remember when what’s-his-name Tentini almost drowned? Then, when Colonel B. revived him, first thing Tentini did was ask for his f—–ing mug of punch?

  eddie baron

  Perhaps that is enough, the Reverend said coldly.

  roger bevins iii

  Remember that time we left little Eddie at the Parade Ground?

  betsy baron

  After the Polk whatdoyoucal
lit.

  eddie baron

  We’d had a few.

  betsy baron

  Didn’t hurt him.

  eddie baron

  Might’ve helped him.

  betsy baron

  Made him tougher.

  eddie baron

  If a horse steps on you, you do not die.

  betsy baron

  You might limp a bit.

  eddie baron

  And after that be scared of horses.

  betsy baron

  And dogs.

  eddie baron

  But wandering around in a crowd for five hours? Does not kill you.

  betsy baron

  What I think? It helps you. Because then you know how to wander around in a crowd for five hours without crying or panicking.

  eddie baron

  Well, he cried and panicked a little. Once he got home.

  betsy baron

  Ah, sweet C—–, you protect the G——ed little f—–ers from everything, next thing they’re calling you to the privy to wipe their a—–holes.

  One thing I’ll say for Eddie Jr. and Mary Mag? They always wiped their own a—–holes.

  eddie baron

  And we didn’t have no privy.

  betsy baron

  Just s—– wherever.

  eddie baron

  Why don’t they ever come see us? That’s what I want to know. How long we been here? A pretty f—–ing long time. And they never once—

  betsy baron

  F—– them! Those f—–ing ingrate snakes have no G——ed right to blame us for a f—–ing thing until they walk a f—–ing mile in our G——ed shoes and neither f—–ing one of the little s—–heads has walked even a s—–ing half-mile in our f—–ing shoes.

  eddie baron

  Enough, said the Reverend.

  hans vollman

  These were the Barons.

  roger bevins iii

  Drunk and insensate, lying in the road, run over by the same carriage, they had been left to recover from their injuries in an unmarked disreputable common sick-pit just beyond the dreaded iron fence, the only white people therein, thrown in with several members of the dark race, not one among them, pale or dark, with a sick-box in which to properly recover.

  hans vollman

  It was not quite comme il faut that the Barons should presume to speak to the boy.

  the reverend everly thomas

  Or be on this side of the fence.

  hans vollman

  It is not about wealth.

  the reverend everly thomas

  I was not wealthy.

  hans vollman

  It is about comportment. It is about, let us say, being “wealthy in spirit.”

  the reverend everly thomas

  The Barons, however, came and went as they pleased. The fence not being an impediment to them.

  hans vollman

  As in that previous place, they remained unconstrained.

  the reverend everly thomas

  Ha.

  roger bevins iii

  Ha ha.

  hans vollman

  The Barons were followed in rapid succession by Mr. Bunting (“I certainly have nothing of which to be ashamed”), Mr. Ellenby (“I came to this here town with seven dolers stitched in of my panse and do not intend to go any damn plase until someone tell me where in Hel is my dolers”), and Mrs. Proper Fessbitt (“I request one last Hour during which the terrible pain be not Upon me, so that I may bid Farewell to my Dear Ones in a more Genial spirit”), who inched up to the doorway frozen in the same crabbed, fetal posture in which she had spent her last bedridden year in that previous place.

  roger bevins iii

  Dozens more still excitedly waited to speak with the lad, buoyant with new hope.

  hans vollman

  But alas, it was not to be.

  the reverend everly thomas

  XXVIII.

  Presently we became aware, by way of certain familiar signs, that trouble was brewing.

  roger bevins iii

  It happened as it always happens.

  the reverend everly thomas

  A hush fell across the premises.

  roger bevins iii

  The scraping of winter branches against winter branches could be heard.

  hans vollman

  A warm breeze arose, fragrant with all manner of things that give comfort: grass, sun, beer, bread, quilts, cream—this list being different for each of us, each being differently comforted.

  roger bevins iii

  Flowers of extraordinary color, size, shape, and fragrance sprang forth fully formed from the earth.

  the reverend everly thomas

  The gray February trees began to blossom.

  hans vollman

  Then yielded fruit.

  the reverend everly thomas

  Fruit responsive to one’s wishing: only let the mind drift in the direction of a certain color (silver, say) and shape (star) and, of the instant, a bounty of star-shaped silver fruits would sag the limbs of a tree that seconds before had stood fruitless and winter-dead.

  roger bevins iii

  The paths between our mounds, the spaces beneath trees, the seats of the benches, the crooks and limbs of the trees themselves (in short, every available inch of space) became spontaneously filled, then overfilled, with food of every variety: in pots and upon fine plates; on spits run between boughs; in golden troughs; in diamond tureens; in tiny emerald saucebowls.

  the reverend everly thomas

  A wall of water rushed in from the north, then divided itself with military precision into dozens of sub-streams, such that each stone home and sick-mound soon had its own dedicated tributary; the water in these tributaries then rather flamboyantly converting itself into coffee, wine, whiskey, and back into water again.

  hans vollman

  All of these things, we knew (the fruited trees, the sweet breeze, the endless food, the magical streams), comprised merely the advance guard, so to speak, of what was coming.

  the reverend everly thomas

  Of who was coming.

  hans vollman

  Sent by them to exert a softening effect.

  the reverend everly thomas

  We steeled ourselves accordingly.

  hans vollman

  It was best to roll into a ball, cover the ears, close the eyes, mash the face into the earth, thereby plugging the nose.

  roger bevins iii

  Strength now, all! shouted Mr. Vollman.

  the reverend everly thomas

  And they were upon us.

  hans vollman

  XXIX.

  They entered in lengthy procession.

  hans vollman

  Each of us apprehending them in a different guise.

  the reverend everly thomas

  Young girls in summer dresses, brown-skinned and jolly, hair unbound, weaving strands of grass into bracelets, giggling as they passed: country girls, joyful and gay.

  Like me.

  Like I had been.

  mrs. abigail blass

  A swarm of beautiful young brides arrayed in thinnish things, silk collars fluttering.

  hans vollman

  Angels, attentive to strangely corporeal wings, one large wing per woman, that, upon retraction, became a pale flag, tightly furled, running down the spine.

  the reverend everly thomas

  Hundreds of exact copies of Gilbert, my first (my only!) lover. As he had looked on our best afternoon in the carriage house, gray horse-towel wrapped carelessly about his waist.

  roger bevins iii

  My girls. Cathryn, Maribeth, Alice. Multiple duplicates of each, going along hand in hand, hair up in Trenton braids, each wearing her last-Easter dress and holding a single sunflower.

  jane ellis

  A greeting Party of SHARD-lasses (Arrayed in the crude Smocks they Favor’d, falling off their Shoulders in deliberate Sluttiness) didst come forth to Grovel before me; but I had seen
and Defeated their Ilk many times Before, & did now leave a generous Brown Turd for their Gift, and Retreated me Home, to await their Departure.

  lieutenant cecil stone

  The brides moved stealthily, like hunters, seeking for any sign of weakness.

  hans vollman

  Where is my dear Reverend? the lead angel called, her voice redolent of the fragile glass bells we had always rung upon Easter Sunday.

  the reverend everly thomas

  One of the multiple Gilberts came over and, kneeling beside me, asked, would I kindly unstop my ears and just please look at him?

  Something in his voice made it impossible to disobey.

  He was beautiful beyond measure.

  Come with us, he whispered. Here it is all savagery and delusion. You are of finer stuff. Come with us, all is forgiven.

  We know what you did, said a second Gilbert. It is all right.

  I did not do it, I said. It is not complete.

  It is, the first Gilbert said.

  I may yet reverse it, I said.

  Dear boy, said the second.

  Soften, soften, said a third.

  You are a wave that has crashed upon the shore, said a fourth.